Today was awful, except the MT tutorial in JE lib which was okay, followed by lunch at Mac in IMM with syafiq, zul, ashri and zaki. Then, went home by train and slept. Woke up and the 'awful' part which I mentioned earlier started.

Woke up at 7pm plus like that ah. Then, my mum was nagging at me for my 'sleeping attitude'. Then, suddenly she somehow linked it with my exam results. That means that she knew about my exam results already. My 2nd sis told her about it after she read my blog. So yeah, dinner sucked. Kena scolded like shit.

Then, my dad started to tell me that I can repeat sec4 if I continue to be like that. Whenever I heard the word 'repeat' or 'retain', I will broke into tears. Its really hurtful because all my effort put in my studies seemed to be invisible and that my family seemed to not believe or have the trust in me.

Then, they started to talk about ten-year series lah and even tuition. After that, I lost the appetite to eat dinner. All that I was thinking was 'repeating sec4'. Haiz.

Dad, if you want so much for me to retain, then that's what I'm doing now, with already 4 subjects failed and only 1 or 2 more subjects failed, and I'm on my way to repeating sec4. But, I thought that you people want me to do well, with so high expectations, such as me being a doctor, etc., but why give me this kind of negative attitude? Why are you people so pessimistic? Right now, I'm being optimistic and I always am. You should be lucky because if I were to be pessimistic, the real Asyraf will cease to exist.

And mum, why tuition? Don't you believe that I can do it by studying all by myself? I know that I can do it, just that I lack 'speed-writing' and a few more practices. So if I were to have tuition, what kind of life will I have? I'm gonna spend 18 hours studying and the remaining 6 hours sleeping and the whole cycle repeats itself. Such a boring life you know. If you care for me and you believe me, then just let me have my own way of studying and give me a bit of freedom. I'm just a human, not a machine. I can't study for so long and do nothing else.

If I have this kind of life, then, just forget about all those high expectations.

Forget about me being a doctor.

Forget about me getting 6As.

Or easier said, just forget about all my achievements and my ambitions.

Supposed to be studying now. But, the studying mood is gone. What's left for me tonight is just to ponder and wonder if I have done anything wrong that lead to my failure.

Today was much better although I failed another 2 papers which were my Geog and SS papers. Geog paper, I got 19/50. It was this bad because I didn't have time to explain so I just wrote down the points. SS paper, I got 21/50. Was suprised that my SS marks were higher than my Geog marks. Hahaha. I can pass if only I had done questions 1c and 1d which worth 14 marks. Haiz. So, I failed by 10 marks overall. But I hope my my holiday assignments and my tests which I did well can at least pull my marks up.

Got back both Bio paper too. I regretted because I didn't do 2 questions worth 20 marks. In the end, I only got a total of 65/100. Only a B3 sia. But nvm ah. From now on, I'm gonna treat my Bio textbook like a Holy Bible and I'm gonna get addicted reading it as if its my all-time favourite storybook. Lol.

Anyways, today, I spent the remaining afternoon playing soccer and having oral with Mdm Asrina. She said that I did okay, not bad ah, but can still be further improved (:

Then, soccer again. Scored too many goals that I lost count of it. Cheyyy...lol! Went home at around 6.30pm. Now, I intend to study Malay but a bit lazy. Noooo....I must not be lazy. Just less than 10 more days left. 10 MORE DAYS PEOPLE. So, don't slack ok! Just this once and its all over and you can leave MT aside and concentrate on your other subjects. So study now! Hahaha (:

Disappointment.

That's the only word to describe me now. Yeah. Got back 4 papers today and I failed 3 of them. And those papers were Chem paper 2, Eng paper 2 and Physics paper 2. Can't believe it that I failed Eng and Physics which were supposed to be one of my strengths. But overall for physics, I got B4 so its ok, but still disappointing. Chem paper 2, I didn't finish it. That's why it sucked. Then, Eng paper 2. I failed because I didn't write enough points for the summary, which I always used to, but I don't know why I didn't do that during the paper. Still, we haven't got back our Eng paper 1, which could pull my marks up if my marks for that paper was impressive.

So yes. I failed 3 subjects already and I haven't even got back the other papers yet. Oh man. This is so not the Asyraf I know because it has been a long time since I failed a subject in major exams. But I told myself to ignore all these marks and focus on 'O' levels. Wheeee. I'm not going to slack again. Will be spending most of my June holidays studying liao. I have to improve on a lot of things (:

And Weilin, how come you can get so high for bio sia? How? HOW? Lol.

Exams are overrrrr!!!! Woooo....but, BUT, MT 'O' level paper is coming in less than 2 weeks!!! Nooooooo!!! Lol!

Hmm, so yeah, last paper was chem paper 1. I didn't really prepare for it. Wahaha. But the paper is ok ok ah. Not so hard, not so easy too. Then, we checked our maths papers.

1st up was E.Maths paper 1. I got 71/80. The 9 marks lost is simply because of CARELESSNESS. So I was abit disappointed lah. Then, we got back our E.Maths paper 2. I got 81/100. The 19 marks lost is simply because of CARELESSNESS again. I was so disappointed with all the careless mistakes until I got chest pain sia just by looking at all those carelessness I made. Lol. Aiyoh. I should have scored higher ah. But, overall, I'm delighted with my E.Maths marks.

Then came my worst nightmare. A.Maths paper 1 and 2. I got 34/100 and 34/80 for paper 2 and paper 1 respectively. I didn't revise all the chapters and I didn't finish it. So yes, I was very disappointed with this one. I know I can do much much much better than this. But for the fact that the paper was quite hard and I myself wasn't prepared for it, I reluctantly accepted the fact that I got those 'deserving' marks. Oh man, my Mum will surely scold me for this subject and she will definitely say "ASYRAF! YOU HAVE TO GO FOR A.MATHS TUITION!" and I will say "NOOOO!" Lol.

So yes, I've got 2 things to really improve on:

1) Finish the paper faster then I can check and recheck my answers for any careless mistakes.

2) Consistent revision before exams.

Zzzzz. Why does time flies so fast during exams? Lol. Ok ok. Anyways, will be getting back other results tomorrow. I pray hard that its going to be bright (:

The most stressful part of the exams are over, which is today of course - I had 3 papers in one day. Wahaha. My brain is sooooooo crammed with knowledge and formulaes of all subjects. Headache!!! Hahaha. Anyways, yesterday, we had E.Maths paper 1. It was easy. Aiming for 70 marks and above. Then, today was Biology paper 1, 2 and Physics paper 1.

Bio paper 1 was quite easy, except for some tricky questions which I totally don't know.

Bio paper 2 was ok. I know how to do most of the questions but I have no time to finish -.- Wasted seh. Main weakness - writing down the answers quick enough to answer all the questions? Lol.

Physics paper 1 was quite easy too, except for the last few questions. Haiz.

So now, I'm only left with Chem paper 1. Need to score high to make up for the marks lost in paper 2 which I also didn't finish.

Oh ya, tomorrow after chem paper 1, Mr Venkat will be going through all (I think) the Maths papers.

A-maths - *Biting fingers*
E-maths - *Smiling*

Hahaha.

Friday! Yay! Finally...FINALLY, I can rest for awhile. Phew. Lol. Tired leh...haha. Anyways, today started off with A.maths paper 1. It was much better than paper 2, but still I didn't know how to do some of the questions. So, about 30 marks gone? Haiz. I thought that I could rely on my A.maths but it turned out to be the opposite way. Damn it. I hope the A.maths paper for 'O' levels isn't going to be this hard, just like how Ang Ang set it. Haha.

Anyways, after that, was physics paper. I didn't really study it. I just did the MYE o7 paper, but only section A. I was suprised to know most of the answers. Thank God I can still remember the definitions and formulaes. Overall, the paper was quite easy just that I left some blanks on a few questions because I never study anything on it or totally forgot it, and that includes the latent heat thing, especially the formula. So yes, I think I lost around 12-16marks?

Hmmm, just 5 papers left, and 3 of them are MCQ papers. I need to use this weekend break to study and read my biology textbook as well as my other subjects. Ok, silent reading starting soon. So, shhhhh!!! Hahaha! (:

E.Maths was very easy. Hoping to get at least 90 marks for this paper. Actually, I aiming to get full marks but I just found out careless mistakes for the question on the hemisphere. I was supposed to cube the radius, but instead, I squared it. So yeah, a few marks flew away just like that T_T. But, luckily, this is MYE, not 'O' levels. If not, I cry ah. Hahaha. But nvm, still have paper 1 which is next week. Hope to ace it. Yeah! Haha.

Anyways, A.Maths paper 1 and Physics paper 2 tomorrow. Need improvements on my A.Maths. I'm expecting the paper to be a challenging one, just like the paper 2.

Ok, I'm back to studying now. So gdbye and gdluck to everyone for tmr's papers (:

Yesterday, we had chemistry paper 2. It was easy. But I wasted it because I didn't managed to finish it xD. I took my time doing the section A and I spent the last 15-30mins doing section B. Oh mannn...10 marks gone + wrong answers which could add up about more than 20 marks gone? I hope I get more than 50marks for that paper.

And today simply sucks. A-maths!!! Ahhhhh! I studied only chapter 13 for this paper but only a few came out regarding that chapter xD. Sien ar. I think that I'm gonna fail this paper. Even if I pass, maybe its only just another borderline pass. Haiz.

Next paper is going to be E-maths paper 2. Need to score very high for this paper. Have to!!! Hahaha. Ok I'm practicing my maths now. Bye-bye and gdluck everyone for tmr's paper! (:

Combined humanities - Hopeless

Hahahaha. Not really 'hopeless' lah. At least my geog got some hope. Well, 1st was ss paper. For this paper, I only studied globalisation. Haha. Anyways, I did all the questions except 1c and 1d. 14 marks gone. Lol xD. And some of the remaining questions, I only managed to write the points with a bit of elaboration because time is limited. So yeah. I think I can only get a borderline pass. Haizzz. Then, we got geog. I did questions 1 and 3. It was ok ah. I didn't really elaborate much for the last few subquestions. Can pass can pass. But it won't be an impressive one.

Up next is chemistry, followed by maths. I haven't revise any of them yet. Gotta study hard!!!

You guys still remember my previous post where I said that my mum bought for me a new thermometer. She told me that it costs $25. Upon hearing it, I was utterly shocked. Now then I realised why it costs that much. Its because.....
.....
.....
.....

ITS AN OVULATION THERMOMETER!!! LOL!!! LOL!!! HAHAHAHA!!! (note the word 'ovulation')

So, fiona and monica, do you people still want my old thermometer...or this new 'fantastic' thermometer??? You can stuck the thermometer up into your rectum to measure your temperature you know. Hahahaha!!!

But I find this thermometer accurate because although it took a longer time to get the results, it has a precision of 0.01 degrees celsius. Hahaha. Btw, just now in school, my readings were 37.11 and 37.05 degrees celsius. Wooo. Hahaha.

Anyways, right now, I'm staying over at my sister's house just for tonight because my parents are now in Kuantan, Malaysia as they got some business issues. So yes, freedom for tonight. Hahaha. Ok now, I want to study. Byes =DDD

Thursday 30/4

Had temperature check. I used the same partly spoilt thermometer (only the screen is spoilt, but still got the 'beep' sound) which I used a few months back when our school had another temperature check. So, yes, I have to pretend that my thermometer is working. I put the bulb of the thermometer under my tongue and waited. Then, I pretended to see the result and spoke out "36.6 degrees celsius!" Lol. Soon, Ms Tan asked me to let her see my result and I did show her in a way that she can't see it clearly at her angle and I told her that its 36.6. And she did believed. Lol. Another mission accomplished! Yeah! (:

After school, went to change uniform. I took most of the time just to poke 2 holes at my crest there so that I can put up the marksmanship badge. Hahaha. Then, we went to form our 3 rows and were sized-up. I was told to stand at the 3rd last column at the centre row. So I had to do the '3-to-2 rows' command. Did parade. It was a fast one. Then, we headed straight for the hall. Mr Wong gave speech. Awards presentation. I got the meritorious award. Yay to me! Haha. I'm proud of it. (: Then, we (ncc) did the tradition way everytime we stepped down, which is to do push-ups according to the number of alphabets in our name. So yes, I have to do 30 push-ups just for my full name only -.-. Lol! After that, I went home.

Friday 1/5

Had religious camp after friday prayers. Its a 2D1N camp. It was good and fun. Got one part which we had this talk and we had to see the videos about children ignoring their mum and so on, including a video about a mum giving birth through operation. The talk and the videos really made me feel sad and regretful of what I have done to my parents, especially my mum. So people out there, never ever be rude to your parents or don't talk back or anything negative and instead be good to them and enjoy every minute with them even when they get old because your parents (mum) are the one who had to go through all the pain just to give birth to you and they took care of you all the way since birth even when their children were impolite or ignore them. So yes, do it before they leave you.

Had BBQ. Slept at 1am and woke up at 4am. Had prayers.

Saturday 2/5

Camp ended at around 9.30am. Reached home and straight away changed my clothes. Headed to JE library. Met jaslyn and yinghao. Studied bio. Then, we have to find a new place to sit because the place where we sat at first has got no power point. So, we went everywhere to find the 'appropriate' places. We ended up sitting near the sliding door to the escalator at level 4. Lol. Then, I met joey.....again. Hahaha. She was doing her social studies notes alone again, just like last week, when I met her. Haha. I continued to study bio. Asked yinghao questions on bio. While we were studying, jaslyn was busily using my laptop chatting with keeley and playing her facebook game, 'restaurant city'. Slacker! Hahaha. Then, jaslyn went to tuition. Soon, it was yinghao's turn to leave. Joey came to sit beside me. Then, zining finally came. Haha. At around 4pm+, joey told me that she wants to go back. So, I just nodded my head, thinking that she was just going to go back to where she sat for awhile. But, she went back.....HOME! Zining and I were like 'where is joey ar?'. Lol.

At 6pm+, zining and I left the library. She went home while my dad sent me to the barber to cut my hair. Finally...Yay! Hahaha. Nice and short. (:

At home, I switched on the laptop, went online in msn, and SLEPT! Hahaha. So sry to those who wanted to chat with me but didn't get any reply. Hahaha. I was too tired ah. (:

Today

Religious class. Slept at home. Tuition started. Did revision, while my mum and my aunt were busily baking. They wanted to open up their own bakery shop! Woo! Hahaha. Then, my sis and her husband were also here. I put my hand on my sis's big stomach and I felt a few strong kicks from the 5-month-old baby inside. Cool. Hahaha. Btw, I just found out that my the baby's a female!!! Yay! Hahahaha. Ok. Now, I want to watch tv. Bye...(:

PS: My mum just bought for me a new thermometer! Yay! No more pretending! Hahahaha (: